Sunday, September 12, 2004

Executive Position Wanted

I found this in my e.mail this morning. Thought I'd pass it on.

This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next January, and is willing to relocate.

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

Past Work Experience:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
- I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
- I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
- I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
- I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
- I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
- I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
- I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
- I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
- I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
- My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.
- My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S Supreme Court during my election decision.
- I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
— I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
- I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
- I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
- I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
- I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
- I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
- I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
- I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
- I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
- I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
- I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
- I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
- I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S citizens, and the world community.
- I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
- In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
- I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
- I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
- I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
-All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
- All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
- All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!

I might add to this resume that:
—I cut taxes for the rich even as I increased the deficit.
—I constantly have changed my mind about what we are doing in the world and in this country.
—I managed to get a number of bills passed with fancy names that mean exactly the opposite of what the bill's title indicates.







16 Comments:

Blogger bedrocktruth said...

Balls!

2:54 PM  
Blogger Eric Coobs said...

Spoken like a true Democrat who cannot look past their pure hatred of Bush!

7:26 AM  
Blogger Chuck Rightmire said...

As I've said before, I don't hate Bush; I just don't think he's been good for the country. And I notice that neither of you refute the list.

11:35 AM  
Blogger bedrocktruth said...

I got the term from you, Chuck. In the context that you gave it to me, I thought it meant a blanket refutation of every word in the piece.:)

Anyway that's the way it was intended. Not worth dealing with beyond that..........

12:32 PM  
Blogger Chuck Rightmire said...

You need to look at where I used it, Bedrock, it was a pun, son.

2:18 PM  
Blogger MTPolitics said...

Here's a very honest rebuttal of the "resume."

http://qando.net/archives/002204.htm

1:12 PM  
Blogger Chuck Rightmire said...

One: the source is suspect at least whenever he quotes the Cato Institute on economic figures. They slant.
Two: There seems to be more excuse for the facts than there is rebuttal for many of the points, sort of "they're valid but...."
Three: The rebuttal of the rebuttal is accurate.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Eric Coobs said...

Chuck - after the election, when Kerry gets soundly defeated, we're not going to have to put you on a suicide-watch are we?

9:33 PM  
Blogger Chuck Rightmire said...

ROFL, Eric.

10:26 PM  
Blogger Peteso said...

Hi there Chuck Rightmire...Googled for avoid bankruptcy and here is where I landed. No regrets...good entertaining read on Executive Position Wanted, although not exactly what I was originally searching for.
How I also wish I can get the time to write interesting blogs like this. This is what makes the net so amazingly diverse. Anyways..on with my search for avoid bankruptcy. All the best Chuck Rightmire.
You've got something good going, keep it up...cheers.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Peteso said...

Hi there Chuck Rightmire...Googled for bankruptcy law and here is where I landed. No regrets...good entertaining read on Executive Position Wanted, although not exactly what I was originally searching for.
How I also wish I can get the time to write interesting blogs like this. This is what makes the net so amazingly diverse. Anyways..on with my search for bankruptcy law. All the best Chuck Rightmire.
You've got something good going, keep it up...cheers.

5:43 AM  
Blogger Azhar Hussein said...

Hi Chuck Rightmire!

Great post on Executive Position Wanted. I'm gonna bookmark this blog and make sure I visit regularly!

Please check my site out if you get some time: Resell Rights eBooks

9:08 AM  
Blogger Peteso said...

Hiya Chuck Rightmire,
Didnt know searching on the net for chapter 11 bankruptcy would bring me here. But hey... reading your post "Executive Position Wanted" was entertaining.
While it may not be exactly related to chapter 11 bankruptcy, it was nevertheless a pleasure to have visited your blog. That's the beauty of the internet.. u just dont know what you will find at the next corner.
Chuck Rightmire, its been great to visit your blog...do keep blogging and continue to make the web a more interesting place..cheers mate

7:09 AM  
Blogger levere said...

Hi Chuck Rightmire,

Great read on "Executive Position Wanted". Hope you dont mind me dropping a few comments although I was actually looking for bankruptcy alternatives info on the net.
Am glad I didnt immediately click away...you do have some good stuff and I enjoyed reading them. You know ...I need your kind of inspiration to write all those blogs...and maybe one day I would find some.
Meanwhile got to get back searching for stuff on bankruptcy alternatives... and Chuck Rightmire, keep doing what youre doing. Hmm must remember to bookmark your page.. Cheers :))

7:31 PM  
Blogger Amon said...

Well done on a great blog Chuck Rightmire. I was searching for information on avoid bankruptcy and came across your post Executive Position Wanted - not exactly what I was looking for related to avoid bankruptcy but very interesting all the same!

8:34 AM  
Blogger levere said...

Hello Chuck Rightmire,

Hmmm...fancy that a search for file bankruptcy brought me to your blog. Hah! Maybe our stars are aligned tonight :)

May not be the exact infomation on file bankruptcy ...but am glad to have dropped by. Your post on Executive Position Wanted makes an intersting read.
Chuck Rightmire, keep up the nice work on the blogs. Cheers and all the best!!

5:18 AM  

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