Make 'em think we're not easy!
The other day I suggested that we should secede to get the country to pay attention to us and to throw some money into our third world economy in this state. An article in this morning's Gazoo gave me another idea. Conservatives, we'd need help with this. Right now we are considered so solidly a Republican state that all the national politicians can bypass us and ignore our needs. Our three electoral votes don't mean much, unless the race is really tight as it was in 2000. My thought is that anyone contacted by a pollster should say he or she plans to vote for the Democrat. Now, I'm not suggesting to those conservatives who pass through this site, that they actually vote that way, but let the pollsters think otherwise. Then, maybe, the political winds (or is that windbags?) will blow through our state and actually get a look at conditions and problems here. Maybe that way we'll get our share of attention without seceding.
posted by Chuck Rightmire at 4:36 PM
3 Comments:
Hell, Chuck, why putz around about it?
Go ahead and secede!
That is if you're willing to see Billings, Hardin and the entire Crow reservation burned to cinders by old yellow hair-Hillary Clinton- and her"all government, all the time" horse soldiers.
We tried it once and would have damned well won if it hadn't been for carpet baggers and profiterring turncoats like John Kerry :)
Sorry Chuck - it looks like Texas beat us to it...
The Future of Texas
Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right
to secede from the Union.
(please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).
We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if
Kerry wins president over Bush.
We'll miss you too.
Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time
to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners
along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are
considering taking matters into our their hands.
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States.
(all 49 states.)
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas.
(we will control the space industry.)
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it)
The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the
Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.
Yankee states? Sorry about that.
5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and
it's too bad about those northern states.
John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....
6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.
7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for
Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units
in the world and other large health planning centers.
8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT., Texas A&M,
Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT,
Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway
9. We have a ready supply of workers.
(just open the border when we need some more).
10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard
and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo,
we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it.
If the situation really gets bad, we can always call
Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple
Texas Rangers.
12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape.
There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:
Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars,
only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his
9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have
to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.
Signed, The People in Texas
The thing is they wouldn't benefit because they would win. Then they'd have to take care of the rest of us. Besides, they also have the right to break up into five states, if I remember that treaty. I'm sure that if El Paso and Houston were set off against each other for the capital of the new Texas, they might do it. Or we might have a new state called West Texas. It happened once before.
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